Waves
by Tango Mike Charlie
Summary: Castle is off to save Beckett once again. But who saves who?  AU. Set somewhere between 3x13 and 3x23. Slight spoiler for 3x13. Now complete.
1. 1 Choices

**So. I guess there's a good thing about your back giving out. Again. I have time to write :) I started this one last time my back gave out, but never finished it. It is therefore set somewhere before 3x24 ("Knockdown"), but definitely after 3x13 ("Knockout"). It's also AU. I have tried to put in a bit H/C, but as much as I love reading it, writing it is a whole different matter. I'm also sorry the chapters are so short, but as it is, I'm happy to get something out at all and at least it's 6 chapters total.  
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**Anyway... on with the story!  
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**Disclaimer: Could really use them to keep me company, but nope, still don't own them.**

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><p>It was now or never. Castle stood in the back of the hall. He was about three seconds away from watching his life go down the drain. Unless he acted. Now. He wasn´t sure he had the right to ruin her day. To possibly ruin her life. Actually, he was pretty sure he didn´t. Yet, doing nothing would ruin his own life. He was as certain of that as he´d ever been about anything.<p>

Two seconds.

His inability to make the choice was clear on his face. Dressed in a tuxedo with a red tie, as per request, he clenched and unclenched his hands continuously.

One second.

"Will he who objects to this wedding speak now, or forever hold his peace?"

And suddenly all was clear. It wasn't a choice anymore. No matter what she would think. He had to take his chance. He would regret it forever if he didn't.

He stepped forward and turned to the bride.

"This is wrong."

Everyone turned and looked at him, softly talking amongst themselves.

All he could see was Kate, looking at him in shock. His eyes pleaded for her to be merciful, telling her he was sorry for ruining her day, for embarrassing her in front of her friends and her father, knowing he'd pay for it if Esposito and Ryan could help it.

"I'm sorry for doing this now", he said, "but I need you to know. I need you to know that I love you. I only care for your happiness and if you really want to marry him", at this he pointed to the man standing next to her, "I won't stand in your way, but you need to know there's another option."

At this, everyone turned back to the couple standing at the altar. Silence had returned and they all looked expectantly at Kate, who still stood there, not able to speak or do anything. But her eyes did speak. They asked him: why now? Why not before all of this?

His eyes told her: Because I was afraid. But I'm more afraid of losing you. Of having to live without you. Of having to watch you be happy with someone else. Or worse, of having to watch you be _un_happy with someone else.

The crowd looked back and forth, sensing there was a conversation going on but not sure what was being said.

"I'll make it easy on you", the man next to Kate said. "It's clear you've made your choice."

With this, he turned and walked away, defeated and hurt.

"Wait! Josh!" Kate yelled after him. "I'm not sure! I'm confused."

With a sad look on his face, Josh turned around one last time.

"And that is exactly why I have to go. You need to be sure. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."

Then he turned around and walked out of her life.

Kate stared after him, then looked at Castle, who was still standing there with an apologetic look on his face. Suddenly overcome by anger, she started running toward Castle, waving her arms as if to hit him.

"Why did you have to ruin this day for me? When will you learn it's MY life you're butting in? Again!"

She had now reached him and started hitting him for real.

He did not avert his gaze from her eyes, nor did he avert her blows, he knew he deserved them. He did, however, try to catch her in a hug when she got close enough. A comforting hug, like he knew she needed right now.

"I'm sorry Kate, but I had to. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't told you. Besides, I left the choice to you."

Her anger ebbed away and she let herself be comforted. She knew he was right. He had given her every opportunity to just say no and marry Josh anyway. And she didn't.

Suddenly she pulled out of his arms, tears she hadn't know were there streamed down her face.

She faced the crowd and said: "Sorry. I guess the wedding's off. Feel free to party anyway. It would be a shame to let it all go to waste."

Then she turned back to Castle, grabbed his hand and pulled him with her. She needed to get away from here.

"We need to talk."

Castle followed, like he always did.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think. I would really appreciate a review. I'll post chapter 2 tomorrow.<strong>


	2. 2 Where to go

**Thanks for everyone who read, reviewed, favored or put this story on alert. :) It's very much appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

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><p>Once outside, she didn't really know what to do anymore. Dressed in a beautiful, white, simple, yet elegant dress, she stood forlorn on the curb, looking around for a place to go. Castle saw her indecisiveness and took charge. He pulled his hand free and took hers instead.<p>

The motion made her look at him.

"The Hamptons? You won't run into anyone you know, and we won't be bothered by anyone. We can talk there."

Not sure what to do, she nodded, so Castle pulled out his phone and called his car service to alert them of his plans, while pulling her along around the corner into the adjacent street. It was where his driver had parked when he dropped him off. Sure enough, the driver was already pulling up as they came into view. As he stopped to let them in, Castle pulled open the back door and helped Beckett in, following her, then pulling the door closed.

"To the Hamptons, please," he said.

Neither said a word, the whole time it took them to get there. Beckett was lost in thoughts and Castle just sat there, leaning against the far door, trying to keep his distance, a lost puppy look on his face. Several times, he wanted to say or ask something, but the look on her face made him reconsider. He decided it could wait.

When they pulled up to the house, he got out and offered his hand to help her out. Her first reaction was to take his hand and let him help her, but then she remembered why they were here and reconsidered. She pulled her hand back and got out on her own side of the car just to show him she didn't need him. As she turned to get out, she caught the look of disappointment on his face and for a minute, she felt sorry for him. But not so much she could forgive him for ruining her day just yet.

Castle opened the door and as she walked in, he told the driver he'd call if he needed him again. The driver took the hint and drove off. When Castle turned around he found Beckett, still standing in the hallway, looking forlorn again.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She glared at him.

"Besides the obvious, I mean," he said.

"I didn't bring a change of clothes."

"Oh, right. Uh, both my mother and Alexis have some spare clothes here, if you'd care to try any? Or I could run to the store and pick something up? Or you could borrow some of my clothes?" He was rambling and he knew it.

"I'll see what I can find. Upstairs?"

"Yes, the first room on the left is my mother's, the first one on the right is Alexis' room. My room is the one in the back, straight ahead. The second door left is my bathroom, the second door on the right is the Girls Bathroom."

"The Girls Bathroom, Castle? Really? Isn't that a bit sexist?"

"No, it's just the most practical name for it as it has all the stuff females may need, whereas mine is stocked with the more… manly stuff." At this he almost blushed. "Ok. So it is a bit sexist. But mostly for practical reasons, really."

Feeling a bit better now that she'd had at least this little bit of payback, Beckett headed up the stairs.

"You hungry? I'll make us something to eat."Castle said as he watched her walking up the stairs.

"Sure," she said without turning around or slowing down. She needed to get away from him for a minute.

She didn't know why she was not mad at him. Not in the degree he deserved for ruining her day anyway. That banter they just shared like nothing had happened… that was wrong. And yet it felt right.

As she checked the closets for something that would fit, she found that the only practical things that fit were some old sweatpants and a shirt from Castle. For some reason it did not feel right to borrow clothes from either Alexis or Martha. Why it felt right to borrow clothes from Castle was something she chose to ignore for now.

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><p><strong>And once again, sorry for the shortness. But the next installment will be up tomorrow, I promise. Any thoughts?<strong>


	3. 3 Clothes make the woman

**Right, my set-up for a try at bit of hurt/comfort. Need some practice, but for a first try... enjoy the reading :)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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><p>Fully expecting Beckett to come back down in one of his mother's dresses or maybe a jeans and shirt of Alexis, Castle wasn't quite prepared to see her dressed in his clothes. It's not that it made her look exceptionally beautiful, she managed that all on her own, but the homey feeling it gave him was enough to leave him speechless.<p>

"What?"

Her annoyed voice shook him out of his reverie.

"You look… amazing," was all he could utter.

Slightly embarrassed, she replied: "I'm wearing old sweatpants and a shirt, Castle. It's hardly anything to write home about."

"Oh, but trust me. It is," he came back.

Not quite sure what to say to that she decided to leave it alone.

"So, where's this food you were bragging about?"

"Right, yes. I set a table in the dining room. Care to follow, Mylady?"

"Castle!"

_Too soon. Damn._ "Sorry. It's this way."

He wasn't quite sure what was happening. He had expected a lot of things, but none of them involved him being alone with her, here, enjoying some friendly bantering. Ok, so the bantering was not quite as friendly at all times, but it wasn't nearly as hostile as he had expected.

As they sat down to eat, he thought he'd risk a question.

"Beckett? Uhm… Not that I'm complaining, but why aren't you mad at me?"

"Not now. I need to think."

"Ok."

They ate in silence.

Picking up her last bite of a ham-cheese sandwich, Beckett pushed her chair backwards. As Castle looked up, she said: "I'm going for a walk."

Castle made to get up as well.

"Ok, let me get my coat."

"Alone, Castle. But I could use a coat."

"Oh, ok." Disappointed again. Then, back his jovial self: "Let me get you one."

He came back with a old, spare coat of his he had lying around the place, having sensed that there was a reason she picked his clothes instead of his mother's or Alexis'.

She looked at the coat, recognizing it as one of his old ones and almost smiled. The man was tuned into her alright. She managed to keep the smile off her face, but he did catch a slight twinkle in her eyes as she accepted the coat.

"Thanks. I don't know when I'll be back. Don't wait up."

"Don't wait up? It's nearly 4 pm, Kate! What are you planning? You're not running away, are you?"

"No. I just need to think. And I can't do that when you're around."

"Then think here. I'll make myself scarce. Or at least come in when it's getting dark. I promise to keep out of your way until you need me."

"Who says I'll need you?"

"For practical reasons I meant. Like where's the food, where can I sleep?"

"Oh, ok." She turned to leave.

It wasn't that he was afraid something might happen to her. It was the Hamptons after all and she was a perfectly capable detective, but in her current state, he wasn't quite so sure she wouldn't get lost or something. It's not like she had been here before.

"Promise?"

"Promise what?"

"Promise to be home by dark? Please?" He actually looked concerned.

"Ok, I promise, now can I go, mom?" She was annoyed again and he knew he was the reason.

"Yes, sure." He felt like a douchebag.

With that she walked out the door in the direction of the ocean. He watched her follow the shoreline for a while before he remembered he had to take care of some things, like, clean the table, change into something more comfortable than a tuxedo, get a room ready to sleep, get some groceries, he had no idea how long they would stay. He might need to cancel some appointments. Paula wouldn't be too happy about that one, but tough luck for her. Kate was all that mattered right now.

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><p><strong>And that's it for this one. I might post the next one later tonight, as I am going back to work tomorrow and won't be able to post in the morning like I have now.<strong>


	4. 4 Thoughts along the shoreline

**As promised, because I won't be able to post in the morning tomorrow, an extra post now, so you won't miss out. The next one will be tomorrow after work (that's around the same time as this one was posted).  
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**I would like to once again thank everyone who's been reading, reviewing, alerting and favoring. I am glad to see so many of you like the story :) You rock!**

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

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><p>Kate walked along the shoreline, not really noticing the beauty of the waves, crashing into the sand. She had a lot of questions. The one that bugged her most was why she wasn't mad at Castle. She had practically already forgiven him for ruining her day. Not that she'd tell him that any time soon.<p>

_How does he know me so well? Even better than myself? How did he know marrying Josh would have been a mistake? Why did he wait until now to tell me? Why didn't I confront him earlier? I _knew_ he was in love with me. He may not have told me in words, but his deeds spoke for themselves. Why was I ready to settle for Josh?_

She didn't quite realize she had already accepted that Castle was right and that she wouldn't have been happy with Josh. Not in the long run. She had made her choice in that church, even if she didn't know it then: by running after Castle instead of Josh.

_In a way Castle has saved my life. Once again. _

She was alerted to her surroundings once again when she felt her feet getting wet. The tide was moving in fast and as she looked around she found she had walked much further than she had meant to walk. Looking back, she found she could not see the house, nor could she see any of the other houses she had seen when they arrived. Up ahead were mainly rocks, so she decided to turn around, noticing the coloring of the sky. As she looked at the sun, she realized it was almost setting. How long had she been walking? There was no way she was going to make it back before dark now. And even though she could not really get lost, as long as she kept following the shoreline back, she was getting a bit worried. She didn't have her gun with her after all.

Meanwhile, Castle had done every possible chore he could think of to keep him busy and he was currently busying himself with the fireplace. It was almost getting dark and he expected Beckett back any minute. He wanted her to feel safe and warm when she got back. He looked out the back door, but couldn't see her yet. He checked the other side in case she had turned around and was now heading back from the other side, but she was nowhere to be seen on that side either. Which had him a bit worried, as the view was quite far. He decided not to worry just yet. Maybe she was doing it on purpose, to get him back for ruining her day.

He got a chair and settled on the deck with a blanket near to stave off the afternoon chill that was coming up. Staring out over the water, watching the sun set, he started doing some thinking of his own.

_Why did I wait so long to tell her? I could have told her before. I knew she was getting married. Why was I so scared to tell her? In the end it wasn't even a decision. It was just something I had to do. But why make her go through all that. The preparations, the crowd, all those witnesses to today's disaster?_

He knew she was a one and done type of girl and he didn't want her to waste that one chance at happiness with someone who was not right for her. He didn't know whether he thought Josh wasn't right for her because of his own feelings for her or because of a genuine feeling about the guy. He just knew he was the one for her. It could have been that incredible kiss, but really, he felt it every day. In the way she accepted his coffee, in the way she smiled at him when she thought he wasn't looking. He had meant it when he had said "Always". He wanted to be there for her for the rest of her life, or his, whichever was longer.

A cold wind chill had him reaching for the blanket. It was then he realized it was now completely dark and she still had not returned. He glanced in both directions, but it was too dark to see properly. He grabbed his phone and pushed speed dial 2. She had long ago surpassed his mother in his list of most important people. Only Alexis was ahead of her and he wasn't sure that would ever change, even _if_ they ever really got together. No one answered. That's when he registered a phone ringing upstairs. As he went to check, he found her phone on his nightstand.

Now really worried, he grabbed his coat, his phone and a flashlight and as he left a note, in case she returned without him being there, he started out in the direction he had seen her heading off that afternoon.

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><p><strong>And so the hurt has begun... does it work? Why? Why not? Let me know. Thanks! :)<strong>


	5. 5 Worry and distress

**So, here it is. The hurt-part. Hope it doesn't actually hurt to read ;-)  
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**Disclaimer: not mine.**

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><p>Beckett was still walking along the shoreline, looking for Castle's place, but as it got darker and darker, it was harder to see the houses. Of course it had to be a moonless night. She had to actually leave the shoreline and go closer to a house whenever she saw one to see if she recognized it. That doubled her time walking back and with the darkness, it was getting harder to keep walking straight. She kept walking into the crushing waves and the sweatpants she was wearing were soaked through and through. She was getting colder by the minute and she checked for the umpteenth time if she really left her phone at the house when she left. She remembered putting it on the nightstand when she was changing and she must have left it there.<p>

_How stupid can I be. Leave my phone? I must have been completely out of it. _

Which she had been of course. And rightly so. Having someone ruin the day that is supposed to be the highlight of your life is quite shocking. Add to that all the conflict running through her brain and she wondered why she had been so stubborn to go out at all. True, the fresh air had helped to clear her head somewhat, but that only left room for more questions. She'd address those later though. Her first priority now was to find Castle's home and get warmed up.

_A hot bath sounds really nice right about now. Or sitting in front of the fireplace. Even Castle's arms sounded good at this moment, the issues aside, if only for the warmth it would provide._

Who was she kidding. Castle's arms sounded right in any situation.

She walked on, but was quickly losing the battle against the chilly night and the cold water.

Castle was practically running along the shoreline, the beam from his flashlight bouncing off the waves as it passed them with every step.

"Beckett? Kate!" he yelled, but no one answered.

"Kate! Where are you?"

He realized he would have to call someone soon to help look for her, but he felt he owed her a chance. She was probably just too far away to hear him, but she wouldn't have been so stupid as to leave the shoreline. She knew his house was right next to it. And alerting people to help find her might embarrass her even further. No, he had done his share of embarrassing her in front of people today. He was not going to add to it by calling in help before absolutely needed.

Then, all of a sudden, he thought he saw something.

"Kate?" He yelled. "Is that you?"

He shone his flashlight in the direction of the dark spot in the sand and almost tripped over himself trying to get there fast. Closing in, he could see the spot slightly moving and he recognized his coat.

"Kate! Hang on! I'm coming!"

Running as fast as he could through the sand, he closed the distance and as he got to Kate, he saw she was in a bad condition. She was shivering all over, hardly able to speak.

"Castle," she whispered, and reached for him.

"Kate! Please hold on, I'll get you home. I'll get you warm!" He helped her up, but her legs were not strong enough to hold her anymore and it was all he could do to catch her before she fell to the floor again. He put the flashlight in his pocket and picked her up in his arms.

"Let me call an ambulance," he said. "We need to get you warm!"

"No," came the whispered answer. "Just take me home. I'll get warm there."

He hesitated for a minute, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She didn't seem half as cold now, when he was holding her. He started back, as fast as he could. It took him 20 minutes to reach his house and he was glad his fireplace was one of those fake ones, that runs on gas and it was therefore still burning brightly and warm.

He was about to gently put her in the chair in front of the fire, when he realized she would have to take off those wet clothes.

When he noticed Kate looking at him questioningly at his indecisiveness, he said: "I need to get you out of those clothes."

As he said it, he realized how that must sound, so he quickly added: "Uh, I mean, you can do it yourself, I won't watch, but you need to get those wet clothes off."

He carefully put her down.

"Can you stand?"

She nodded.

He watched her struggle with the sweatpants for a second, before a glare had him running to get some extra blankets.

Kate undressed and sat down again, covering herself with the blanket he had been using earlier that day. Suddenly she heard a bump. Then: "Oomph! Ouch!" she turned around to find Castle returning with another set of his spare clothes, a towel and the blankets, but because he was trying to be a gentleman, he had his eyes closed.

It made her smile. But he still deserved some payback for his actions earlier in the day, so she decided not to let him know she was decent just yet.

"Just follow my voice, Castle. But mind that-"

*BUMP*

"... chair."

"Ow!"

Kate burst out laughing. Feeling he had payed his dues, for now, she took pity on him.

"I'm sorry, Castle. You can look now. I'm decent."

He opened his still watery eyes. It must have really hurt. _Good_, she thought for a fleeting moment.

When he reached her, without bumping into anything else, he handed her the towel, put the clothes on the small table next to the chair and the extra blankets on the other chair. Then he turned back around again to let her towel off and put on those clothes.

She tried to do that quickly, but failed at that, as her exhaustion was getting the overhand. As she finished, she let herself drop into the chair again, pulling that first blanket on her lap. Suddenly too tired to do anything more, she said: "Ok, done."

As Castle turned he saw she was near exhaustion, so he tucked her in very carefully with at least 2 extra blankets and went to the kitchen to make some hot coffee. Once he had her drinking the hot liquid, he felt she was heated up enough for him to sit down for a minute, allowing himself to feel his own exhaustion, a result from his earlier run and from carrying her all the way home.

She hadn't said another word for a while and he was getting worried.

"Kate?" he softly asked.

She looked up, but didn't say anything.

"Are you ok?" She looked ok, but he would prefer a verbal confirmation.

"I'm tired," she whispered and let herself drop out of the chair onto the rug that was in front of the fireplace.

Castle picked himself up to see to her needs once more and got a pillow and put it under her head. Then he tucked her in again. As he did so, he could tell she was falling asleep. Her breaths were evening out and she had closed her eyes a while ago.

Just as he was getting up to sit in the chair again, he felt a hand pull him down.

"Stay," she whispered. "Hold me. Please?"

He hesitated.

"Are you sure?"

She just pulled him down further, so he had no choice but to lie next to her and hold her. Not that he minded. He just hoped she wouldn't mind either when she woke up, but he guessed he would find out either way when she woke up. He decided to enjoy it in the mean time. She probably only wanted his warmth anyway.

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><p><strong>So, slightly longer. Hurt won't be put into a few words ;-) I'm guessing you don't mind. ;-) And thoughts? Only 1 more chapter to go.<strong>


	6. 6 What dreams are made of

**Ok. Final chapter. Here it goes.**

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

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><p>She was cold. So cold. Shifting to get closer to the source of the heat she could feel just out of her reach, she rolled over, almost bumping into something. Not quite awake, she registered a warm body and accepting the heat, she snuggled into it. Thinking about whose body it was was too much right now. And it felt nice. Warm and safe. She quickly fell asleep once again.<p>

Castle however was wide awake. Had he been holding her earlier, this was beyond simply holding. He would never be able to talk his way out of this one if she woke up to find herself with her face against his chest, her arms wrapped around his torso and her right leg in between his legs. He was trying really hard not to enjoy it too much, but he couldn't help a certain arousal. The woman he loved was lying in his arms after all.

Somehow, he managed to fall asleep after a while. Probably the exhaustion. With the direct worry for her gone, his thoughts were now free to roam his dreams and that's exactly what they did.

_There she was. The simple, white dress made her look even more stunning than normal. The softly crashing waves in the background made it only more perfect. As she walked through the sand, step by step, slowly, almost gliding, he could see her smile as she kept staring at him all the way. He waited for her. He had waited for her for years, what were a couple more minutes? The smile on his own face was bigger than he could remember ever smiling. For some reason, not being able to smile as naturally and bright should have been a clue both with Gina and Meredith. But that was hindsight. He liked his future much better. She took another step. And another. He felt like he was about to burst of happiness. He sneaked a quick look to his left. Alexis was staring longingly at Kate and didn't even see him looking. He'd have to ask her, but he was pretty sure she saw Kate as a surrogate mother. His gaze shifted to the first row of guests. Martha was positively beaming, obviously happy to see this finally happening with the right woman. One she called family as well. Guiding his extra-ordinary daughter towards Castle, Jim gave him an approving nod as their eyes met. Moving on, his eyes fell on his best men. Ryan and Esposito shared the duty like they worked together and they couldn't be more proud to finally see Kate give in to happiness. They smiled back at him, then nodded in Kate's direction. He was supposed to only have eyes for her. Agreeing with their silent reprimand, he turned back to watch his wife-to-be approach._

_She had closed in another step or two. As she was nearing, he could see the waves in the background getting bigger. Not immediately alarmed, he just kept staring at Kate, but the closer she got, the bigger the waves got. As she was about to reach him, a giant wave suddenly broke free of the ocean and came crashing down the isle, taking everything in its path. Seeing the danger, he dove forward to get Kate out of the danger zone, yelling for everyone to save themselves. She was still too far away though and the wave beat him to her. As it came crashing down on her, she was swept away and there was nothing he could do to help her, as he was being swept away by the wave as well._

"No! Kate!" _he yelled, not caring about anyone else at the moment, not even himself. _

"Please! Don't take her away! I need her!" _He didn't know who he was pleading with. _

_The wave had now passed and everyone was picking themselves up from the wet sand. _

"Kate! Where are you?"

A soft hand touched his cheek.

"I'm here, Rick. I'm safe. Wake up. You're having a nightmare."

Slowly, he became aware of his surroundings. He focused his eyes and found Kate still lying on top of him, her hand stroking his cheek, uttering comforting words he could not yet comprehend as his mind was still a bit foggy.

"It's ok, Rick. I'm safe. I'm here."

Needing to feel that for himself, he grabbed her in a tight hug, pulling her against him. She let him, only pulling her head back so she could look him in the eye.

"I thought I'd lost you forever," he said, not sure if he was referring to the dream or the events from earlier that day.

"You'll never lose me, Rick."

She looked him in the eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere. You made sure of that. And I… I'd like to thank you for that."

His eyes widened at that.

"Thank me? I ruined the best day of your life."

"Turns out, the almost freezing and getting-lost-thing aside… it was still a very good day. You saved me. Twice. First from making the worst mistake of my life and then… at the beach…"

"But… does this mean…"

"Yes, Rick. It means…"

And then she kissed him. A soft touch to his lips at first, but as all the pent up frustration and worry left them, the kiss became deeper, first matching, then surpassing the passion from that first 'undercover'-kiss.

When the need for air became apparent, she pulled her head slightly back.

"By the way… I love you too"

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><p><strong>There. I hope you liked it! :) Thanks again to everyone who read, favored andor reviewed or put it on alert. It is very much appreciated. Until we meet again. Tango**


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